Friday, August 6, 2010
I was reading something the other day about finding our spiritual home, the place where you feel you belong. It isn't necessarily where you live, or where you were born, just somewhere that you feel is home. My spiritual home is definitely Scotland. It's the place where I feel right, where I feel like a real person. I have felt like this for a long time, and it often puzzles me as to why. Yes, it's beautiful, but so are many other places I have visited, including some places quite near to where I live, so it's not that. And I haven't always felt like this, because when I first moved there, I hated it. I was desperately homesick for 3 months. I hated everything about it. And then, gradually, I started to fall in love, and it's a love affair that has lasted for more than 25 years. I love the scenery, the cities, the people. Sure, there are some places that aren't so nice, just like anywhere, but on the whole, it's all good. So why this overwhelming love and need for a place that is neither the place I was born, nor the place I live. The only other place that evokes this sort of response is London, and that's probably because I was born there. I love London and am fascinated by it, but it is a very demanding lover. After a week there I am exhilarated and at the same time completely drained and exhausted and desperate to leave. Scotland, I never want to leave. I cry every time. And I plan my next visit almost immediately. And it doesn't really matter what part of Scotland I am in, anywhere will make me feel the same peace and contentment and feeling of being. Maybe it's because in Scotland I first became a mother? Probably not, I felt like this before I became a mother. Maybe it's because I have made many good, deep, and long-lasting friendships with Scottish people? Maybe. Maybe even it's something subconscious. I don't know. Maybe when I visit some of the other places on my travel wish-list, like Iceland and Norway, I will fall out of love. I don't think so. Whatever the reason is, Scotland has my heart, Scotland is part of me.