Friday, September 30, 2011

The cheerfulness of colour

I finally got out into my garden the other day after a long absence and picked these lovely flowers from my Scottish wildflower mix. The bright colours really warmed my heart and cheered me.

Thank goodness for colour, for flowers, and for good friends.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Heartache

I have reason over the last couple of weeks to consider the notion of heartache. It's a very strange thing. How can an emotional response to something cause such a physical pain? Sometimes I feel as if something has been wrenched from my gut. The feeling can be overwhelming, and makes it hard to breathe. I want to roar. Then it dies down and I feel almost normal again. For a while. Tears are never far away, I seem to have an endless supply of salty liquid. I need to sob and curl up in a ball. Then I feel positive and strong again. Until the next wave. My chest feels as if it has a tight suit of armour round it and I will never escape. No one has died. This is grief for the end of a way of life, a change in my role and how I define myself. How I have defined myself for the last 23 years. Although many things continue on in the same way, this subtle change threatens to overwhelm me. I watch a friend who is coping with real grief, real bereavement, and I wonder how I will ever deal with that. I try to hide it from my children, because these feelings are caused by one child leaving home to live away at university. I don't need them to feel guilty for growing up and leaving, it's normal. It's the way the world works. I remember how I felt when I spread my own wings, how exciting it was, and how wonderful the world was. I am glad that my son can feel that. So why then do I want to die? Why do I go upstairs and bury my face in his dressing gown which stills smells of him? Why do I get into a breathless panic when I haven't heard from him that day? Why does my body feel as if it is ripped apart?

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Scottish wildflowers

One of my Scottish friends gave me a packet of wildflower seeds last year, and the weather has been so odd this year that they are only now coming into their full glory.
I took these photos a few days ago and they look even better today. I love love love these bright marigolds, I hope I will be able to save some of their seeds for next year.
Lots of little pretty things too, I think these are Calendula, and there are some poppies lurking about and a gorgeous purple thing has appeared at the back. Lovely!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Mini Birthday Album




I made a little chipboard album (3x3") instead of a birthday card for our recent birthday. I always wanted to try one of these, so I had great fun messing about with it. I painted the edges with acrylic paint and then used Mod Podge to put the papers on. They are a mixture of Graphic 45 and the V&A collection. The numbers and flower are chipboard which I painted with acrylic paint and then crackle glazed. The little heart lock is off a necklace and the frame is from K&Co.

Each page has things that the birthday girl likes, so this one has a clock and some gears, vintagey lace and some butterfly tissue tape.Some music flowers from Sabrina on this page, and a little ballet shoe charm from Jackie.


More charms from necklaces on this page, and a bit of a die cut from Papermania. The background paper is from the Once Upon a Time collection and the heart label is from K&Co. I gave everything a top coat of ModPodge to seal it as well. I'm not entirely happy with the way I made the hinge, and I think I will do it differently next time, but it has stayed together!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Cogs and Gears

I saw this in the CardsnScrapz shop and knew that I wanted to do something with it for my daughter's birthday. So I painted it with acrylic paint and put it together. Then I got out the Tim Holtz gear die-cuts, metal cogs and gears and some lovely graphic 45 papers. A bit of tissue tape (also TH) and a peacock that I had from somewhere (and that the daughter loved) and voilá -
- a steampunkish clock! Which she was very pleased with :D

Sunday, September 4, 2011

It's nearly the birthday......

...and she's seen the cake so here it is - a chocolate cake covered with Kimberley biscuits which are stuck on with chocolate. 'That looks yummy' was the verdict - here's hoping it is!!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Pause in proceedings........

I've been busy with lots of projects recently, but they are all for birthdays or other upcoming occasions so I can't post anything yet.........expect a flood soon!